If You Give A Librarian A Barcode…

A parody of Laura Numeroff’s classic picture book
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie 

(a small glimpse into the multi-tasking, constantly-interrupted, detail-laden, crazy-awesome day of a school librarian)

By Mrs. ReaderPants, Middle School Librarian
If you give a librarian a barcode,
she’ll want to scan it in
When she scans it in, she’ll see the book is on hold
She’ll go to the drawer to get a hold notice
When she opens the drawer, she’ll see the rubber bands she was looking for thirty minutes ago…
Why did she need those again?
While she’s thinking, a student asks her where all the scary books are
She’ll guide him to the catalog
While helping with the search, she’ll notice that the computers she started re-numbering last week weren’t finished
She’ll want to finish the numbers, but a noisy class is on its way in
She’ll calm the class down and get them excited about some new titles she just received
The excited students will want check out the new books right away
So she’ll have to enter lots of hold requests
Putting the books on-hold will slow down the line
She’ll need to write them a tardy pass on a sticky-note
When she reaches for a sticky-note, she’ll notice that, after the staff meeting that morning, all her stickies and pens are missing
She’ll have to dig through the supply drawer for a box of pens
As she digs, a student asks her if there are any more lunch passes
She’ll get that for him in just one sec
While she cuts the new passes, she’ll see a newsletter she meant to copy for teachers last week
She’ll take that down to the copy room now
In the copy room, she’ll remember that she needs a box of paper for the library printers
She’ll need to find a cart to haul that upstairs
When she is looking for the cart, a teacher will stop her in the hall to ask for the login to Discovery Streaming
Of course, she knows it by heart.
Giving the password will remind her that she needs to check on that new student’s login
It’s still not working, so she needs to call tech support to see when that might happen.
As she reaches for the phone, a student wants to know how to add sound to his PowerPoint
She smiles and goes to the computer to help him
Going to the computer will remind her that she still hasn’t finished re-numbering the computer stations.
She’ll get on that right away.
When she returns to the circ desk, she’ll notice her scanner is about to fall over again
(She had meant to secure it to its stand with a rubber band–oh, yeah!)
She’ll go to pick up the scanner and…
Chances are, when she picks up the scanner,
She’ll start looking for some barcodes to scan with it.

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