Thursday, May 19, 2016

Bring Your Own Distraction: 7 Fool-Proof Strategies for Students With BYOD Burnout

Okay teachers, librarians, parents, it's time to stop reading now. This post is just for students...

Attention students! Are you tired of hauling your laptop to school each day? Got the low-battery blues? Teachers assigning cool multimedia projects instead of hand-written papers? Have no fear! There are time-tested strategies that will help you rid your life of those annoying Acceptable Use Policies and pesky homework app reminders. Gather your friends and be sure to share these proven tips that are guaranteed to make your school get rid of BYOD once and for all:


It's lunchtime, and you have 20 minutes to kill before class. Sure, it's a beautiful day, but whatever you do, don't go outside! I know, I know, Vitamin D and fresh air and sunshine and all that. But if your goal is to rid your life of BYOD, beautiful days are the perfect time to game in large, loud groups in the library! Since librarians are often leading the BYOD cheer team, it's crucial to get the librarian on Team NO-BYOD early-on.



This one goes with Tip #1 and is another tactic to ensure you lock in the critical librarian support your cause desperately needs. Gather your friends in a large game-watching audience. Aim for at least five watchers, ten is even better. When something surprising happens in the game, say, your man dies, the group should use their deepest voices to groan a collective "Ooooohhhhh!" really loud at the same time. Keep in mind that the deeper your voices, the more they will carry across the room! If you are asked to quiet down or leave, be sure to (loudly) whine that it "wasn't you."


Never use headphones when you game. Beeps, dings, and whooshes are certain to annoy all the adults and probably even some students around you. The more annoying BYOD is for teachers, the more likely you are to get rid of it for good!


Imagine you are gaming, and you hear a voice in the distance, saying your name and possibly some other garbled noises that could pass as language. A minute or two later, you think you may feel a faint tapping on your shoulder. Ignore it all. It's nothing. Game on, dude. In the unlikely event the teacher does finally manage to get your attention as you game, be sure to give her The Blank Stare. It helps if you try looking like you've just emerged from centuries in a dark cave and are seeing sunlight for the first time in your life.


Gaming on the sly? Open the assignment you should be working on, then use your mouse pad to Quick-Swipe to your game. If you sense a teacher nearby, Quick-Swipe back to your assignment. Rest assured, she may look ignorant, but I promise you, she knows you aren't doing the assignment. This game of cat-and-mouse is almost guaranteed to have your teacher complaining to administration about BYOD. Maybe she'll even make up some rules to ban computers from her classroom. Either way, you are a step closer to a BYOD-free existence.


Do everything you can to appear as though your whole life revolves around screen time. Eat in front of the computer. Fall asleep with your phone in your hand. Avoid looking up at all costs. Aim to look at a screen for 100% of your waking hours. Do it at home, too, so your parents will also free you from pesky screen-time. Maybe they'll even complain to the school!


 Make sure you game so much that your parents call the school to complain that you are gaming instead of eating lunch. Forgetting to eat is a crucial step on the road to kissing BYOD BYE-BYE.

    So. Seven easy ways to get rid of BYOD. I'm sure you can think of others, amirite?

    Disclaimer: This post is intended to be humorous. I do not in any way support or promote an end to BYOD in schools. It is our job as parents and teachers to teach the next generation to use technology appropriately and responsibly, not to withhold it from their lives while they are at school. Balance, people. Balance.


    1. Love it! Sounds like our students are kin to yours!!!

    2. We are not a BYOD system, but, I have the same problems in the library with the gamers pretending to work. I thought it was just me. Good to know that I am not the crazy one!

    3. My new favorite option? "Guided Access" Ms! The iPad isn't working. I can't get out of this app?!

      *Maniacal laugh* Thats right! You can't! "But how do I-" "Nope. You CAN'T!!!!"


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